Why I built this
I thought I was a good partner. I jumped up to do chores when asked.
But I was waiting to be told. I was "helping out" with tasks that were rightfully my responsibility.
My wife wasn't just doing the tasks — she was carrying the mental load of noticing everything, remembering everything, and delegating to me like I was an employee, not a partner. It felt bad to me. For her, it must have been alienating.
When she finally explained it, I was embarrassed. I earnestly tried to do my part. Still, I ran up against my own inexperience and habits of mind. I would walk past an overflowing laundry hamper and not see it. I didn't know how to turn my attention to a list that lived undocumented in my wife's mind.
We tried to-do lists and calendars — each lost its oomph as soon as it was completed. Since they focused on outcomes rather than process, they made a cleaner home but not a better housemate.
So I built Choresight. Not as a chore chart. As a tool to retrain my own attention. To notice the dishwasher that needs emptying. The dog who needs her nails trimmed. The laundry hamper, be it empty or overflowing — before my wife adds it to her invisible list.
You're not a shitty partner. You were just never taught to see. With Choresight, you can teach yourself and bring balance to your relationship.
— Derek